A couple of days ago, I was trying to talk Belle into washing her mi mi (aka special blankie). She hugged her mi mi very close, and very softly and earnestly said, "I can't mama, she is my very very best friend".
It just made my heart melt, and a I felt a yearning for a life that was more simple, not so complicated, and filled with hardship. (okay my life isn't that bad...I am talking Society in general).
I was so sad watching the news about the floods in Texas, and the woman talking about her four year old daughter being ripped from her arms and drowning. What an utterly helpless feeling she must have had, I cannot imagine. Nothing in this lifetime will ever erase that horrible, gut wrenching moment for her.
Another strange serious thing happened to me the other day when I was driving Spencer to his dad's house. He asked me what I would do if he died. I was a little surprised, but my mind was filled with other thoughts, and just quickly answered that I would be so sad, and that life would never be the same. Then I thought about it for a minute, and I asked him what he would do if I died. ( I am not sure why I even asked this, but I thought maybe he was thinking about that and didn't know how to bring it up). He said, "I would grab the girls, and throw us in after you." I started to cry because it made me so sad. I didn't even know what to say. It made me want to be a better mother, to give him a better life, and to make him feel safer. Then a familiar feeling arose of being helpless, because he spends half his life with his father, and people that I don't know, and don't trust. Like I said, I wish for a simpler time. I wish for simpler problems, and simple happiness. I wish that for you all too....